Three is a wonderful age to start pre-school. Most children are curious, chatty and ready for new experiences, and they benefit hugely from time with other children and caring adults outside the family. Even so, the first days can bring tears, clinginess or tiredness. With some simple preparation, you can help your child start pre-school feeling confident and secure. This guide explains what to expect and how to get ready.
Why Three Is a Good Age to Start
At three, most children are beginning to play alongside and with others, follow simple instructions and talk about their needs. Pre-school builds on this, helping them:
- make friends and learn to share and take turns
- develop language through stories, songs and conversation
- grow in independence and self-care
- explore early reading, writing and maths through play
- get used to routines that will help when they start Reception
In England, all three-year-olds are also entitled to 15 hours a week of funded early education from the term after their third birthday, so many families start pre-school at this point.
How to Prepare Your Child in the Weeks Before
Talk about pre-school positively
Chat about the fun things your child will do, such as painting, playing outside, singing and making friends. Keep it light, so it feels exciting rather than a big worry.
Read stories about starting pre-school
Picture books about going to pre-school or nursery help children imagine what will happen and give you a chance to talk about feelings.
Practise being apart
If your child has not spent much time away from you, arrange short spells with grandparents or friends. This helps them learn that you always come back.
Build independence
Encourage your child to:
- take off and hang up their coat
- put on their shoes, even if not perfectly
- wash and dry their hands
- use the toilet or tell an adult when they need to go
- open their snack and drink
Get into a routine
A regular bedtime and a calm morning routine help children feel ready for the day. Practise the journey and the drop-off time in advance.
The Settling-In Period
Visits and stay-and-play sessions
Most pre-schools begin with a visit or stay-and-play session, where you stay with your child. After that, children usually stay alone for short sessions that gradually get longer.
The key person
Under the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS), every child has a key person who gets to know them and becomes a familiar, trusted adult. Tell them about your child’s likes, dislikes, comforters, words they use and anything that helps them feel calm.
Tears are normal
Many children cry at first, and most settle quickly once their parent leaves. Staff will let you know how your child is doing.
Tips for a Happy Drop-Off
- Keep goodbyes short, warm and confident
- Always say goodbye rather than slipping away
- Create a little ritual, such as a hug and a wave
- Tell your child when you will be back in terms they understand, such as “after story time”
- Be on time at pick-up
After Pre-School: What to Expect at Home
Pre-school is busy, so expect your child to be tired and perhaps a little emotional at first. Offer a snack, a cuddle and quiet time. Ask gentle questions, such as “What did you play with today?”, but do not worry if they say little. Children often share more later.
Starting Pre-School at Crown House
At Crown House Preparatory School in High Wycombe, children join our pre-school from the term they turn three. We keep the start gentle. Families first come to a stay-and-play session together, then children stay for a short settling session of about an hour, repeated as often as they need.
Our October 2023 Independent Schools Inspectorate report noted that “children settle quickly into the early year setting and are happy and secure due to warm relationships with staff and the sensitive care they provide.” Once settled, children enjoy Forest School, drama, music and PE with specialist teachers, alongside play-based learning. Read our guide to choosing the right pre-school in High Wycombe for more.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes. Many children are ready for pre-school at three and benefit from social play, language development and early learning.
Every child is different. Some settle in a few days, others take a few weeks. A gradual start and a consistent key person help.
Policies vary, so ask the setting. Many pre-schools support children who are still learning, working closely with parents.
All three and four-year-olds in England can get 15 funded hours a week. Eligible working parents can claim up to 30 hours.
